So, families... What's going on there?

DENISE: I’m pregnant, you uncaring insensitive bastard.
ANDREW: I thought you didn’t like children?
DENISE: Why do people keep saying that?
ANDREW: Well, your comments about Mork and Mindy are a bit of a giveaway.
DENISE: It’s Markham and Malika as you well know.
ANDREW: But do you like them?
DENISE: It’s just that they can be ungrateful, demanding, annoying, bludging users so much of the time.
ANDREW: A mother’s love…

About the Script


Don Wainwright is dying, and his family gather for his passing. But he lingers… and lingers… and lingers.

Don's family - his eldest daughter and two sons and their spouses, are not the closest, and this time in close proximity to each other allows some of their worst characteristics to emerge.

Nought But The Leg is a black comedy which looks at family dynamics, Hollywood, Buddhism, stress and scones.


Denise: the eldest daughter, early 40s, a psychologist.
Dave: an entomologist, her husband.
Andrew: the middle sibling, a restaurant owner.
Hyun: a teacher, and Buddhist, Andrew’s wife.
Colin: the little brother, a writer.
Lysette: a Hollywood actress, Colin’s wife.

Production History

Nought But The Leg had a reading by the Illawarra Performance Writers' Group on 23 April 2009.

Nought But The Leg was selected by the Australian Writers' Guild for a mentorship which I undertook with Timothy Daly.

Read The Script

If you want to read the script please email me at